The Cruelest of Jokes

A writer died and was given the option of going to heaven or hell.

She decided to check out each place first. As the writer descended into the fiery pits, she saw row upon row of writers chained to their desks in a steaming sweatshop. As they worked, they were repeatedly whipped with thorny lashes.

“Oh my,” said the writer. “Let me see heaven now.”

A few moments later, as she ascended into heaven, she saw rows of writers, chained to their desks in a steaming sweatshop. As they worked, they, too, were whipped with thorny lashes.

“Wait a minute,” said the writer. “This is just as bad as hell!”

“Oh no, it’s not,” replied an unseen voice. “Here, your work gets published.”

– Courtesy of the internet

Has This Ever Happened to You?

You and your friends are out at a restaurant on a Friday night when you see your waiter bringing out your food. Naturally, you couldn’t be happier.

pooh hungry

After all, you’ve spent most of the day virtually touring the restaurant’s kitchen (a.k.a. looking at pictures of its dishes online).

yum

You’ve basically been starving for hours, so the smiling server striding towards you is a welcome sight. The wait is finally over!

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Upon having your plate set down on the table, however, your face suddenly transforms into that of Patrick Star’s.

sad patrick

Disappointment gives way to confusion as you stare at your empty plate.

confusion

You start to wonder if your friends are playing some sort of trick on you, but they, too, look surprised when empty plates are set before them as well. (And we all know that Sammy can’t act. The bewilderment, then, must be sincere.)

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Before you can voice so much as a syllable in protest, your waiter swiftly disappears into the kitchen.

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You and your friends immediately transform into the cast of Honey, I Shrunk the Kids.

magnifying glass

Lo and behold, you discover that your plates aren’t actually empty! The portion sizes are simply more suited for this guy than they are for you:

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You then expend every ounce of energy in your being to mask your fury as mild displeasure…and to keep from doing this:

angry jen

 

The Disney Quotes Game

So…this came in the mail last week:

magic bands

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That’s right, Buddy. I’m going to Disney World! 😀 (Oh , gosh. I sound like one of those post-Super Bowl commercials.)

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How else is one to announce that they’re going to the most magical place on Earth, though? Lol. In honor of my impending trip, I created a short, Disney-themed game. Voila! Behold a screenshot of it:

Disney Game

In this game, players will be presented with a series of quotes. They must then match the quote to the film from which it was taken by clicking on the appropriate blue circle. Want to play? If so, click here.

When Writers Attempt to Tell Jokes

Found this little gem on the internet. Hehehe.

So this man walks into a bar. No, make that a man walks into a dark, smoky bar. No, let’s try a man, looking furtively around the bar, walks into it. That doesn’t work, how about a lanky, tanned man with a prominent chin walks into . . . nope. The bar beckoned to the man and finally he . . . not that either. OK, the man, a blank look on his gaunt face, stumbles into . . .

Let me get back to you, this may take a while.

Unscrambling the Scrambled

Happy Friday! The weekend is here! Yay!

dancing baby

To celebrate, I’ve got a game for you. It’s called “Unscrambling the Scrambled.” Here’s a screenshot of it:

Unscrambling the Scrambled

So, let’s go over the rules: Each question will present you with a word whose letters have been scrambled. It is your job to unscramble the letters and identify the word that once was.

For instance, if a question were to read “opre,” you’d want to type in “rope” as the answer. If it were to read “lanvicra,” the correct unscrambling would be “carnival.” Get it? Players will have eight minutes to complete the game, which consists of twenty-one questions. All participants will receive a scrumptious, virtual brownie topped with virtual ice-cream and sprinkles! 😀

ice cream

Click here to be taken to the game.

Link Parties 101

Who Does What?
All link parties consist of two groups: the host and the participants. (Note: The host can double as a participant should they desire to.) First and foremost, it is the duty of the party’s host to decide on a theme. Each participant must then:
1. Compose a post in keeping with the theme put forth by the host
2. Publish said post
3. Navigate to the host’s site and add their post’s URL to a specified list
4. Visit fellow party-goers’ blogs and look at their posts (as you may have already ascertained, the links to their sites will be found via the list referenced above)

Yay or Nay?
Link parties are looked upon favorably within the blogging community. Their popularity stems from the fact that they accrue participants numerous benefits. Here are just a few such perks:
– Increased exposure for one’s site
– A stage on which to network with fellow bloggers
– The opportunity to have one’s content featured on other blogs

My Thoughts
Prior to yesterday, I had no idea what link parties were. After conducting a bit of research and familiarizing myself with their workings, I can say that this certainly seems like something I’d like to become more involved with in some capacity–be it as a hostess or as a participant.

Do you have a favorite list party? If so, please feel free to comment down below!

15 of the Most Underrated Animated Films

As this post’s title suggests, what follows is a list of animated films which–in my opinion–are a bit underappreciated. These are films that you don’t really hear people talking about. They date from as far back as 1963 to as recent as 2004. (For those of you staring at the “1963” in the preceding sentence and thinking that age is to blame for irrelevance, recall that Snow White was released in 1937.)

Some of the films in this list are available on Netflix–thought I’d mention this in case any titles strike your fancy. 🙂

 

1.   The Sword in the Stone (1963)

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Available on Netflix DVD

Synopsis:

“This Disney adaptation of the classic fable chronicles King Arthur’s humble beginnings. As an orphaned child, Arthur, who was then known as Wart, wants to help his foster brother, Kay, succeed in becoming a knight. While helping Kay train, Wart stumbles upon a cabin belonging to Merlin, a bumbling but talented wizard. Merlin does his best to convince the boy that he is bound for greatness, and when Wart and Kay travel to London to attend a jousting contest, they learn that Merlin was right.”

 

 

 

2.  The Aristocats (1970)

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Available on Netflix DVD

Synopsis:

“When a retired opera singer leaves her inheritance to her cat, Duchess, and three kittens, the woman’s butler drugs the cats and abandons them in the countryside in order to inherit the fortune himself. Lost in unfamiliar territory, Duchess and the kittens meet Thomas O’Malley, an alley cat willing to help them return to their home in Paris. They meet several kooky characters along the way, including two English geese and an alley cat jazz band.”

 

 

3.  Charlotte’s Web (1973)

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The live-action version is available to stream on Netflix.

Synopsis:

“E.B. White’s beloved children’s tale is brought to life in this animated film, which finds the young farm pig Wilbur attempting to avoid a dire fate. Of all the barnyard creatures, Wilbur’s staunchest ally is Charlotte, a thoughtful spider who devises an intriguing plan to keep the gentle little swine out of the slaughterhouse. Although Charlotte’s efforts, which involve words written in her delicate web, seem far-fetched, they may just work.”

 

 

 

 

4.  The Fox and the Hound (1981)

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The sequel is available to stream on Netflix.

Synopsis:

“After his mother is killed, Tod the fox is taken in by the kindly Widow Tweed. He soon befriends the neighbor’s new hound dog, Copper. The two are inseparable, but their friendship is hampered by their masters and by the fact that they are, by nature, enemies. They grow apart as they grow older; Copper has become a strong hunting dog and Tod a wild fox. The pair must overcome their inherent differences in order to salvage their friendship.”

 

 

5.  An American Tail (1986)

Fievel

Synopsis:

“A young mouse named Fievel Mousekewitz and his family emigrate from Russia to the United States by boat after their home is destroyed by cats. During the trip, a fierce storm throws Fievel from the ship, and he loses contact with his family. Luckily, he manages to sail to New York in a bottle. There, Irish mouse Bridget, an Italian mouse named Tony, and a kindly cat named Tiger help Fievel search for his loved ones.”

 

 

6.  The Brave Little Toaster (1987)

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The sequels are available to stream on Netflix.

Synopsis:

“In this animated film, five sentient household appliances — Toaster, Blanky, Radio, Lampy and a vacuum cleaner named Kirby — living in an abandoned cabin have grown lonely. Longing to reunite with their owner, a young man named Rob, the appliances set off on a harrowing trek through the wilderness, surviving as best they can despite limited sources of electricity. Worse yet, when they arrive in the big city they discover they may no longer be useful because of new, modern appliances.”

 

 

7.  Oliver & Company (1988)

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Synopsis:

“In this animated update of the classic ‘Oliver Twist’ tale, Oliver is an orphaned kitten taken in by a gang of thieving dogs, led by cavalier canine Dodger and owned by down-and-out pickpocket Fagin. While pulling a job in the streets of New York City, Oliver winds up being adopted by a rich girl, Jenny, and landing on easy street. But through a series of events, a loan shark threatens the peaceful new arrangement.”

 

 

8.  The Land Before Time (1988)

the land before
Available to stream on Netflix

Synopsis:

“Littlefoot, a young plant-eating dinosaur, is orphaned after his mother perishes while protecting him from a vicious carnivore. With her last breath, she tells him how to get to the legendary Great Valley, where he will be reunited with others of his kind. With his friend Cera, Littlefoot sets out for the fabled land, meeting a variety of new friends along the way — while also being tracked by the killer dinosaur that mortally wounded his mother.”

 

 

 

 

9.  Kiki’s Delivery Service (1989)

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Synopsis:

“A young witch, on her mandatory year of independent life, finds fitting into a new community difficult while she supports herself by running an air courier service.”

 

 

 

 

 

10. FernGully: The Last Rainforest (1992)

ferngully

Synopsis:

“Crysta is a fairy who lives in FernGully, a rainforest in Australia, and has never seen a human before. In fact, she is told they are extinct. But when a logging company comes near the rainforest, she sees that they do exist, and even accidentally shrinks one of them: a boy named Zak. Now her size, Zak sees the damage that the company does and helps Crysta to stop not only them, but an evil entity named Hexxus, who feeds off pollution.”

 

 

 

11. Thumbelina (1994)

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Available to stream on Netflix

Synopsis:

“Born of a flower and growing to only a couple of inches tall, poor Thumbelina is worried she’ll never meet someone her own size, until she happens to catch the eye of Prince Cornelius of the Fairies. Just as soon as she finds love, however, it’s torn away from her when she is kidnapped by Ms. Toad. Now Thumbelina has to escape Ms. Toad’s grasp and search for Prince Cornelius. Luckily, there’s a whole city of animals willing to help her.”

 

 

12. Balto (1995)

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Available on Netflix DVD

Synopsis:

“In this animated feature, a deadly diphtheria epidemic strikes the remote town of Nome, Alaska. With the life-saving medicine located hundreds of miles away, the residents decide to send out a sled-dog team. Balto — a half-wolf dog ignored by all except a goose, Boris, and two polar bears — is chosen to run but is disqualified by lead dog Steele. When the other dogs get lost in the snow, Balto risks his life to rescue them and deliver the medicine.”

 

 

13. James and the Giant Peach (1996)

james
Available on Netflix DVD

Synopsis:

“Featuring stop-motion animation and live action, this inventive adaptation of Roald Dahl’s beloved children’s tale follows the adventures of James, an orphaned young British boy. Forced to live with his cruel aunts, James finds a way out of his bleak existence when he discovers an enormous enchanted peach. After rolling into the sea inside the buoyant fruit, James, accompanied by a crew of friendly talking insects, sets sail for New York City.”

 

 

 

 

14. The Iron Giant (1999)

iron
Available on Netflix DVD

Synopsis:

“In this animated adaptation of Ted Hughes’ Cold War fable, a giant alien robot crash-lands near the small town of Rockwell, Maine, in 1957. Exploring the area, a local 9-year-old boy, Hogarth, discovers the robot, and soon forms an unlikely friendship with him. When a paranoid government agent, Kent Mansley, becomes determined to destroy the robot, Hogarth and beatnik Dean McCoppin must do what they can to save the misunderstood machine.”

 

 

15. Howl’s Moving Castle (2004)

howl

Synopsis:

“A young girl is forced to toil in her parents’ hat shop and her only joy is in her occasional meetings with a handsome stranger, Howl the wizard. When a witch sees her happiness, she curses her to become old in a jealous rage. Ashamed and afraid, she flees to Howl’s magic moving castle. Will Howl see her for who she really is?”

 

 

 

Have any titles in mind that could use some more TLC from the general public? If so, feel free to comment down below!

Koalas are Born a Month After Conception

Koalas are born between thirty to thirty-five days after being conceived. At birth, they bear no resemblance to the creatures that they will gradually mature into–for they measure a mere inch, lack fur, and have no ears. Wholly unprepared to confront the harshness of the wilderness, they travel to their mother’s pouch promptly after being born. There, they spend approximately six months nursing.

Animals